Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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