So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
