Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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