in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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