your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
