Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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