I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
