she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
