Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
