We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
