I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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