i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
