I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
