it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think people are normalizing furries
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
