I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
