i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
