OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you had me at cake vodka
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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