so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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