Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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