All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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