there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
