so that wasnt chicken after all
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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