I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
