the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
