Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
