Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
