At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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