you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
