and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize