We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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