you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Houston, we have a squirter
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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