happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
