I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
