How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
