Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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