I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
