yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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