she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
People in love make me want to vomit
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So many bounce houses so little time
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
