I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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