the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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