I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
