quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
