I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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