Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
