i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
