naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
