I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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