I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
