you guys were way drunker than both of me
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
