and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
