Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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